Today was a weird one. We didn't have any plans so we did some "want-to"s and mixed them with some "have-to"s. We went to the mall to return something and took some time to check out things. No real agenda until later...TKD class.
We are heading out to class when I remember I didn't wash his uniform because I did wash up at the cabin. I remember this 2 miles from home 😏. So we turn the Beast (my truck) around and decide to do some grocery shopping. Won't Andy be happy that we actually got food for home and made dinner?!? We have left him at home for a week with very little to eat. He usually does the cooking so he can handle grocery shopping and cooking especially without children as his entourage in the store.
WARNING: BIG TANGENT/SIDE NOTE
I must tell you, I don't like to cook...at all...for my family. They have very plain palates and I have left several times during dinner because I didn't want to hear their complaints after I worked on a healthy, delicious meals for those jerks! I do like to prepare new things - entrees, sides, vegetarian dishes, etc. - for people who are willing to try new things and have more adventurous palates.
AND BACK TO THE STORY...
I buy a big tube of ground beef, divide it up, and brown one pound for tacos. It won't heat up the house too much - we finally have summer weather - and everyone in the house loves tacos. Done.
After dinner, Andy decides he will go grocery shopping for his lunches and he takes the kids!! KID-FREE TIME!! I'm going to read or color my hair or take care of my truck's air filter or ALL OF IT! So there I am with my hair wrapped up in a towel while I apply the oil to my air filter and wearing a skirt! Of course my family returns while I am sitting on the deck reading. My hair is wrapped in a towel after washing it - my daughter (or son) didn't see me working on my truck wearing a skirt being super mom while coloring my hair...lost that award again.
Monday, July 13, 2015
The Dirt Bike and the War on Wasps
So we have been having a great week at our cabin - the kids and I. We race home for 48 hours to get taekwon do classes in and other dumb grown-up stuff (paying bills, grocery shopping, etc.) done before we race back up to the cabin for the weekend. We are going to look at a dirt bike and the boy is over the moon - I can't drive fast enough for him!
We meet up with Jaws to look at the bike and make a decision about it. The bike is too big for the boy, but the girl is just right! It is in great condition for a used bike. We buy it and head over to town to buy a helmet. The kids argue over the color of helmet so mom decides for them. Both were crying and I wondered why I even gave them a choice in the matter, ugh!
Back at the cabin, we unload the bike and give it a whirl. The girl is afraid, but does great. She tries turning and goes too slow and slowly dumps over. Really it was like slow-motion because she was trying to keep the bike up and see around the chin/neck part of the helmet. She was fine and just a little shy about another turn. We got her on again later and she was awesome. She stayed in first, but got the feel of the clutch and not "snubbing" it. Seriously, the bike gave new vocabulary to them.
While all this is going on, the boy is pouting that he wants a growth spurt so he can ride. In stead he 'suffers' riding the 4 wheeler up to 12 mph. Now I'm riding the dirt bike - and did an unplanned pop-a-wheelie, laugh like crazy, and try again - and the boy is on the 4 wheeler. We put our race faces on, lean toward the handlebars, and laugh at ourselves. Somewhere in this time, the boy parked the 4 wheeler, walked up on the deck to yell something to his dad or sister, but what I see as I come around the garage is the boy running and flailing his arms around. He found and disturbed a wasp nest!!
Several wasps seemed to have went up his shorts and he couldn't do much with the helmet on, screaming and running! I kill the dirt bike, slap down the kickstand and run after him. He's already inside and his dad is trying to rip off the helmet. I grab his shorts and rip those down. The boy gets all self-conscience and is trying to hold the shorts up or cover his stuff - while he still has his underwear on. Two wasps fall out of the shorts, Andy grabs the boy's foot to stomp them since we are on our knees and don't want to use our hands.
I apply some bug sting wipe and lotion and ask him questions, checking to make sure he can still breathe and is coherent. This is war! Making me worry about him going into shock when I am 20+ miles from the hospital. We keep monitoring him, but take every can of bug killer we can and spray an area under the bottom step on the deck. We didn't have much so Andy pulls out the gas can, pours enough over the area, and lights it up!
We are impressed by the flames, watch a frenzy, check on the boy, and I load him up to go to the store for more bug killer. If something happens to him we will be closer to medical help, and I can re-supply our arsenal to kill these things. He sustained 4 stings and is fine...I know the next time is just as scary so we are going to be proactive now. There will be drowning of the nests/hives, fire as necessary, and we are going to make sure we always have bug killer on hand! We will win!
We meet up with Jaws to look at the bike and make a decision about it. The bike is too big for the boy, but the girl is just right! It is in great condition for a used bike. We buy it and head over to town to buy a helmet. The kids argue over the color of helmet so mom decides for them. Both were crying and I wondered why I even gave them a choice in the matter, ugh!
Back at the cabin, we unload the bike and give it a whirl. The girl is afraid, but does great. She tries turning and goes too slow and slowly dumps over. Really it was like slow-motion because she was trying to keep the bike up and see around the chin/neck part of the helmet. She was fine and just a little shy about another turn. We got her on again later and she was awesome. She stayed in first, but got the feel of the clutch and not "snubbing" it. Seriously, the bike gave new vocabulary to them.
While all this is going on, the boy is pouting that he wants a growth spurt so he can ride. In stead he 'suffers' riding the 4 wheeler up to 12 mph. Now I'm riding the dirt bike - and did an unplanned pop-a-wheelie, laugh like crazy, and try again - and the boy is on the 4 wheeler. We put our race faces on, lean toward the handlebars, and laugh at ourselves. Somewhere in this time, the boy parked the 4 wheeler, walked up on the deck to yell something to his dad or sister, but what I see as I come around the garage is the boy running and flailing his arms around. He found and disturbed a wasp nest!!
Several wasps seemed to have went up his shorts and he couldn't do much with the helmet on, screaming and running! I kill the dirt bike, slap down the kickstand and run after him. He's already inside and his dad is trying to rip off the helmet. I grab his shorts and rip those down. The boy gets all self-conscience and is trying to hold the shorts up or cover his stuff - while he still has his underwear on. Two wasps fall out of the shorts, Andy grabs the boy's foot to stomp them since we are on our knees and don't want to use our hands.
I apply some bug sting wipe and lotion and ask him questions, checking to make sure he can still breathe and is coherent. This is war! Making me worry about him going into shock when I am 20+ miles from the hospital. We keep monitoring him, but take every can of bug killer we can and spray an area under the bottom step on the deck. We didn't have much so Andy pulls out the gas can, pours enough over the area, and lights it up!
We are impressed by the flames, watch a frenzy, check on the boy, and I load him up to go to the store for more bug killer. If something happens to him we will be closer to medical help, and I can re-supply our arsenal to kill these things. He sustained 4 stings and is fine...I know the next time is just as scary so we are going to be proactive now. There will be drowning of the nests/hives, fire as necessary, and we are going to make sure we always have bug killer on hand! We will win!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
About me and contact me in one post
Hi! I'm Kristen, a school teacher (4 year old kindergarten) and love it! I also want to keep my job so I will keep my swearing to none (or close to none), but I think you'll get the idea. I am the wife of Andy and mom to Madison, T.J. and Coal - 2 human and 1 furry. For the sake of the reader, I should let you know I will often call them by nicknames...Madison is Mads, Bug, the girl. T.J. is Toot or the boy. Coal is 'that darn dog', pookey, and the furry kid.
I'm hopping on with google so you'll be able to catch me at kristen.maesbeattie@gmail.com. Please know that I am experimenting and I will be soooo upset if you disrupt my personal life by being an idiot. On the other hand, I would love to know who is reading so contact me if you are fun and nice.
Kristen AKA the meanest mom in the world
I'm hopping on with google so you'll be able to catch me at kristen.maesbeattie@gmail.com. Please know that I am experimenting and I will be soooo upset if you disrupt my personal life by being an idiot. On the other hand, I would love to know who is reading so contact me if you are fun and nice.
Kristen AKA the meanest mom in the world
My first real post!
So...after reading some great, funny, sarcastic writers (namely Jenny Lawson, Jen Lancaster and Tom Ceparski, Jr.), I have decided to start my own memoir. We’ll see what it brings, but several people and I don’t mean just my mom - it was my cousin, some friends and friends of friends - have told me “You should write a book - the way you tell a story (on Facebook) makes me laugh out loud”.
So here are things I muse about in my right-now, sweaty, stinky head. We are on ‘vacation’ at our cabin in Northern Wisconsin. After weeks of little to no rain, we have a great storm that soaks a good portion of the state. The lightning was fantastic, the winds pick up offering a much needed breeze in stagnant 90+ degree days...I also knew I wasn’t going to be sleeping alone very long either. Sure enough, 2 extra bodies joined me (my daughter, Madison, 8 years old and my son, T.J., 5 years old). They “can’t sleep” so jumping in bed with me getting up to 100+ degrees in my bed, they do fall asleep. I don’t.
I get out of the middle, no small feat because they each hhhhaaaaddd to have the outside, and stumble to the lower bunk in their room. Fine, I can do this, I haven’t slept in the same bed as my husband, Andy, for several weeks - one from when I was out of town with cousins, 2 weeks he was out of town for work, then in week 4 I take off early to the cabin for the 4th of July week. A twin bed will be no problem (as long as I have it to myself, I’m good!).
And I was good until the power went out at 1:30 am. I don’t sleep from then until 6 ish. I’ve reported my outage and “will receive a text when the power has been restored” or I’ll wake up because the air-conditioner, fan, nightlights, refrigerator, etc. will beep and get their ‘hum’ on. I sleep for 22 glorious minutes - then a rep from WPS calls to ask if I am still without power. I commend the great customer service and the prompt attention to my needs - the rep and I haven’t slept this night and I have waaay less to complain about compared to the calls she has had to field and, duh, having to work all through the night of a wicked good thunderstorm. I hang up and try to roll over and get more sleep. The dog whines to go out and I have started my day on about 2 hours and 22 minutes of sleep.
Fast forward to the day, Mads wakes up and lets me know the nightlight isn’t working. I inform her the power is out while TJ yells from the kitchen part of the cabin “The fridge light isn’t working.” I bust over there and slam the door shut.
“Don’t open the door. We want to keep it cold in there. Only quick, planned openings until the power is back on.”
“Why?”
“So everything stays cold.”
“Why?” I question why I teach children his age again.
“Because if the power doesn’t come on soon, we want to keep everything as cool as possible or it will spoil.”
“Why?” Again, why do I teach this age group?!?
“So we don’t die of starvation.”
“What?” I have already stomped away hoping to have the dog off my back and catch a few minutes rest.....
Nope, now TJ knows he wants a bowl of cereal so I quickly pull the milk out - a 1/2 gallon BAG of milk from Kwik Trip, LOVE it and it’s $1.24 for the half gallon = $2.48 for the gallon - and use the disposable bowls since I don’t plan to use the water left in the pressure tank on doing dishes. Mads doesn’t like cereal and is genuinely pissed the electricity problem has thawarted her plans for some gourmet breakfast. I’m not sure who she thought was going to make this great breakfast because I don’t enjoy cooking at all. Really not an ounce. I’m personally a little upset I can’t have a freezer/toaster waffle, cause those can be darn tasty and less than 5 minutes from freezer to mouth!
I opt for some cereal since it’s out and I’m not getting my waffle, darn it. Mads grabs the 1/4 bag of mini twist pretzels...oh, well, there’s goes that mom of the year award, again. And there is the perfect title for my book...
On the same day of the power outage, I decide this ‘free’ time could be great for getting the lawn mowed, the weeds wacked, the hostas planted, an ice cream run and sooo much more. Well, the mower didn’t start. I worked in a hardware store for 2 years and pride myself on not needing a guy for these tasks so I am crabby. I was going for the ‘Wife of the Year’ Award...wouldn’t Andy be happy if the lawn was done and Sunday would be a continuation of Saturday’s fun? Okay, I can weed wack and get part of the job done. Nope, the gas can in the garage is not the 1:32 mix needed for the weedwacker - that’s at home, so is the oil.
I can try for that ‘Mom of the Year’ Award again...TJ wanted a 4-wheeler ride, let’s get the key! Go inside while TJ gets his shoes and socks on, grab the key and head to the garage. Turn key, nothing. The battery is dead.
“You can charge it.” TJ recommends.
“I could...if we had power.” I even gaze longingly at the separate circuit box in the garage. Maybe, just maybe, we have power to the garage? The separate box brings me hope. The man did the garage right - lights everywhere, outlets everywhere - just maybe the service is sooo separate it will work? I check the box - the main is in the on position. I go to the lightswitch - flick the switch, nothing...
Appropriately, TJ pulls out this Amish/Old-Timey ring and stick game. We play for awhile, but begin melting away in the 80 degree morning. TJ calls it quits before I do and we head inside where it is at least 10 degrees cooler and less humidity. We all take a break - coloring books for Mads, coloring books for TJ and my fully charged iPhone with Netflix on it!!! Mama ain’t no dummy. I charged it in the truck and I am planning to catch a couple episodes of “Pretty Little Liars” - season 2 started streaming today! Darn, I should have been watching that all night...oh, that charging idea didn’t come until after 7 am.
My cousin got me hooked on PLL through Netflix. So we watched season 1 and were waiting for season 2 to come to Netflix so we can whip through that and catch up on season 3 through abcfamily.com. Yes, my cousin is 13. Yes, I know it’s a terrible show. But I HAVE to know who ‘A’ is and who is the second ‘A’ is...it is mind consuming, plus my cousin googled it and I don’t want to know until I see!
I love the connection with my cousin even more than the show. I’ve gotten to know her better through Netflix. A weird statement, I know, so I’ll explain. She is a middle child and feels like it. She is quiet and sometimes withdrawn, making her seem difficult or unapproachable. When she writes, she expresses herself so differently. Texting and emailing is what she does, that’s how her friends know her and I tried the texting because her phone vibrates constantly with new texts. I knew she would get mine and she wrote back with more excitement I’ve ever seen of her in person. She is 13 and I won’t give her name...13 year olds need some privacy and I want to keep her texting with me.
I get 1/2 of an episode of PLL in before the coloring books have all their mazes done. My kids are mathematical thinkers - bored by the coloring, they do the mazes, word searches, etc., but haven’t really colored a page in any of the books packed. I give up the phone to have the kids share watching an episode of some craptactular show they like. Seriously, I have to limit their screen time, not just because it’s the right “mom” thing to do, but because I fear I will commit some terrible crime even after the sugary-sweet, positive-thinking theme song! Wow, twice in the first post I’ve lost the ‘Mom of the Year’ Award - perfect title.
Still on the outage day, I decide to repaint my toenails. I have all the stuff here because I do end up having so much more free time here. I pull out the color and see the directions on the bottle. Never noticed that before. It reads “shake gently. apply 2 coats. avoid heat & flame”. OMG, it’s 90 darn degrees! Is that “heat”? I’m not going over by the gas-powered generator, so I should be safe. Thanks again, Jeff, Jody and Gary for bringing up the generator - Jeff, your truck should be white because you were my knights in shining amour that day! Saved my sanity and the freezer full of food. Sanity is still in question, but you saved the food. Andy thanks you tons, too!
So here are things I muse about in my right-now, sweaty, stinky head. We are on ‘vacation’ at our cabin in Northern Wisconsin. After weeks of little to no rain, we have a great storm that soaks a good portion of the state. The lightning was fantastic, the winds pick up offering a much needed breeze in stagnant 90+ degree days...I also knew I wasn’t going to be sleeping alone very long either. Sure enough, 2 extra bodies joined me (my daughter, Madison, 8 years old and my son, T.J., 5 years old). They “can’t sleep” so jumping in bed with me getting up to 100+ degrees in my bed, they do fall asleep. I don’t.
I get out of the middle, no small feat because they each hhhhaaaaddd to have the outside, and stumble to the lower bunk in their room. Fine, I can do this, I haven’t slept in the same bed as my husband, Andy, for several weeks - one from when I was out of town with cousins, 2 weeks he was out of town for work, then in week 4 I take off early to the cabin for the 4th of July week. A twin bed will be no problem (as long as I have it to myself, I’m good!).
And I was good until the power went out at 1:30 am. I don’t sleep from then until 6 ish. I’ve reported my outage and “will receive a text when the power has been restored” or I’ll wake up because the air-conditioner, fan, nightlights, refrigerator, etc. will beep and get their ‘hum’ on. I sleep for 22 glorious minutes - then a rep from WPS calls to ask if I am still without power. I commend the great customer service and the prompt attention to my needs - the rep and I haven’t slept this night and I have waaay less to complain about compared to the calls she has had to field and, duh, having to work all through the night of a wicked good thunderstorm. I hang up and try to roll over and get more sleep. The dog whines to go out and I have started my day on about 2 hours and 22 minutes of sleep.
Fast forward to the day, Mads wakes up and lets me know the nightlight isn’t working. I inform her the power is out while TJ yells from the kitchen part of the cabin “The fridge light isn’t working.” I bust over there and slam the door shut.
“Don’t open the door. We want to keep it cold in there. Only quick, planned openings until the power is back on.”
“Why?”
“So everything stays cold.”
“Why?” I question why I teach children his age again.
“Because if the power doesn’t come on soon, we want to keep everything as cool as possible or it will spoil.”
“Why?” Again, why do I teach this age group?!?
“So we don’t die of starvation.”
“What?” I have already stomped away hoping to have the dog off my back and catch a few minutes rest.....
Nope, now TJ knows he wants a bowl of cereal so I quickly pull the milk out - a 1/2 gallon BAG of milk from Kwik Trip, LOVE it and it’s $1.24 for the half gallon = $2.48 for the gallon - and use the disposable bowls since I don’t plan to use the water left in the pressure tank on doing dishes. Mads doesn’t like cereal and is genuinely pissed the electricity problem has thawarted her plans for some gourmet breakfast. I’m not sure who she thought was going to make this great breakfast because I don’t enjoy cooking at all. Really not an ounce. I’m personally a little upset I can’t have a freezer/toaster waffle, cause those can be darn tasty and less than 5 minutes from freezer to mouth!
I opt for some cereal since it’s out and I’m not getting my waffle, darn it. Mads grabs the 1/4 bag of mini twist pretzels...oh, well, there’s goes that mom of the year award, again. And there is the perfect title for my book...
On the same day of the power outage, I decide this ‘free’ time could be great for getting the lawn mowed, the weeds wacked, the hostas planted, an ice cream run and sooo much more. Well, the mower didn’t start. I worked in a hardware store for 2 years and pride myself on not needing a guy for these tasks so I am crabby. I was going for the ‘Wife of the Year’ Award...wouldn’t Andy be happy if the lawn was done and Sunday would be a continuation of Saturday’s fun? Okay, I can weed wack and get part of the job done. Nope, the gas can in the garage is not the 1:32 mix needed for the weedwacker - that’s at home, so is the oil.
I can try for that ‘Mom of the Year’ Award again...TJ wanted a 4-wheeler ride, let’s get the key! Go inside while TJ gets his shoes and socks on, grab the key and head to the garage. Turn key, nothing. The battery is dead.
“You can charge it.” TJ recommends.
“I could...if we had power.” I even gaze longingly at the separate circuit box in the garage. Maybe, just maybe, we have power to the garage? The separate box brings me hope. The man did the garage right - lights everywhere, outlets everywhere - just maybe the service is sooo separate it will work? I check the box - the main is in the on position. I go to the lightswitch - flick the switch, nothing...
Appropriately, TJ pulls out this Amish/Old-Timey ring and stick game. We play for awhile, but begin melting away in the 80 degree morning. TJ calls it quits before I do and we head inside where it is at least 10 degrees cooler and less humidity. We all take a break - coloring books for Mads, coloring books for TJ and my fully charged iPhone with Netflix on it!!! Mama ain’t no dummy. I charged it in the truck and I am planning to catch a couple episodes of “Pretty Little Liars” - season 2 started streaming today! Darn, I should have been watching that all night...oh, that charging idea didn’t come until after 7 am.
My cousin got me hooked on PLL through Netflix. So we watched season 1 and were waiting for season 2 to come to Netflix so we can whip through that and catch up on season 3 through abcfamily.com. Yes, my cousin is 13. Yes, I know it’s a terrible show. But I HAVE to know who ‘A’ is and who is the second ‘A’ is...it is mind consuming, plus my cousin googled it and I don’t want to know until I see!
I love the connection with my cousin even more than the show. I’ve gotten to know her better through Netflix. A weird statement, I know, so I’ll explain. She is a middle child and feels like it. She is quiet and sometimes withdrawn, making her seem difficult or unapproachable. When she writes, she expresses herself so differently. Texting and emailing is what she does, that’s how her friends know her and I tried the texting because her phone vibrates constantly with new texts. I knew she would get mine and she wrote back with more excitement I’ve ever seen of her in person. She is 13 and I won’t give her name...13 year olds need some privacy and I want to keep her texting with me.
I get 1/2 of an episode of PLL in before the coloring books have all their mazes done. My kids are mathematical thinkers - bored by the coloring, they do the mazes, word searches, etc., but haven’t really colored a page in any of the books packed. I give up the phone to have the kids share watching an episode of some craptactular show they like. Seriously, I have to limit their screen time, not just because it’s the right “mom” thing to do, but because I fear I will commit some terrible crime even after the sugary-sweet, positive-thinking theme song! Wow, twice in the first post I’ve lost the ‘Mom of the Year’ Award - perfect title.
Still on the outage day, I decide to repaint my toenails. I have all the stuff here because I do end up having so much more free time here. I pull out the color and see the directions on the bottle. Never noticed that before. It reads “shake gently. apply 2 coats. avoid heat & flame”. OMG, it’s 90 darn degrees! Is that “heat”? I’m not going over by the gas-powered generator, so I should be safe. Thanks again, Jeff, Jody and Gary for bringing up the generator - Jeff, your truck should be white because you were my knights in shining amour that day! Saved my sanity and the freezer full of food. Sanity is still in question, but you saved the food. Andy thanks you tons, too!
here we go, well, I go...
I love the Bloggess and Jen Lancaster's writing so I started a book on a vacation at our cabin. I don't know how to get a book published so I'll publish here. Someday, maybe, my little blessings will earn me a buck, but for now I want my children to love reading and get better at writing (cough, cough, Madison, who hasn't started her summer journal and will never get the Barbie magazine she hoped for unless she does). We will see what it brings...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)