So...after reading some great, funny, sarcastic writers (namely Jenny Lawson, Jen Lancaster and Tom Ceparski, Jr.), I have decided to start my own memoir. We’ll see what it brings, but several people and I don’t mean just my mom - it was my cousin, some friends and friends of friends - have told me “You should write a book - the way you tell a story (on Facebook) makes me laugh out loud”.
So here are things I muse about in my right-now, sweaty, stinky head. We are on ‘vacation’ at our cabin in Northern Wisconsin. After weeks of little to no rain, we have a great storm that soaks a good portion of the state. The lightning was fantastic, the winds pick up offering a much needed breeze in stagnant 90+ degree days...I also knew I wasn’t going to be sleeping alone very long either. Sure enough, 2 extra bodies joined me (my daughter, Madison, 8 years old and my son, T.J., 5 years old). They “can’t sleep” so jumping in bed with me getting up to 100+ degrees in my bed, they do fall asleep. I don’t.
I get out of the middle, no small feat because they each hhhhaaaaddd to have the outside, and stumble to the lower bunk in their room. Fine, I can do this, I haven’t slept in the same bed as my husband, Andy, for several weeks - one from when I was out of town with cousins, 2 weeks he was out of town for work, then in week 4 I take off early to the cabin for the 4th of July week. A twin bed will be no problem (as long as I have it to myself, I’m good!).
And I was good until the power went out at 1:30 am. I don’t sleep from then until 6 ish. I’ve reported my outage and “will receive a text when the power has been restored” or I’ll wake up because the air-conditioner, fan, nightlights, refrigerator, etc. will beep and get their ‘hum’ on. I sleep for 22 glorious minutes - then a rep from WPS calls to ask if I am still without power. I commend the great customer service and the prompt attention to my needs - the rep and I haven’t slept this night and I have waaay less to complain about compared to the calls she has had to field and, duh, having to work all through the night of a wicked good thunderstorm. I hang up and try to roll over and get more sleep. The dog whines to go out and I have started my day on about 2 hours and 22 minutes of sleep.
Fast forward to the day, Mads wakes up and lets me know the nightlight isn’t working. I inform her the power is out while TJ yells from the kitchen part of the cabin “The fridge light isn’t working.” I bust over there and slam the door shut.
“Don’t open the door. We want to keep it cold in there. Only quick, planned openings until the power is back on.”
“Why?”
“So everything stays cold.”
“Why?” I question why I teach children his age again.
“Because if the power doesn’t come on soon, we want to keep everything as cool as possible or it will spoil.”
“Why?” Again, why do I teach this age group?!?
“So we don’t die of starvation.”
“What?” I have already stomped away hoping to have the dog off my back and catch a few minutes rest.....
Nope, now TJ knows he wants a bowl of cereal so I quickly pull the milk out - a 1/2 gallon BAG of milk from Kwik Trip, LOVE it and it’s $1.24 for the half gallon = $2.48 for the gallon - and use the disposable bowls since I don’t plan to use the water left in the pressure tank on doing dishes. Mads doesn’t like cereal and is genuinely pissed the electricity problem has thawarted her plans for some gourmet breakfast. I’m not sure who she thought was going to make this great breakfast because I don’t enjoy cooking at all. Really not an ounce. I’m personally a little upset I can’t have a freezer/toaster waffle, cause those can be darn tasty and less than 5 minutes from freezer to mouth!
I opt for some cereal since it’s out and I’m not getting my waffle, darn it. Mads grabs the 1/4 bag of mini twist pretzels...oh, well, there’s goes that mom of the year award, again. And there is the perfect title for my book...
On the same day of the power outage, I decide this ‘free’ time could be great for getting the lawn mowed, the weeds wacked, the hostas planted, an ice cream run and sooo much more. Well, the mower didn’t start. I worked in a hardware store for 2 years and pride myself on not needing a guy for these tasks so I am crabby. I was going for the ‘Wife of the Year’ Award...wouldn’t Andy be happy if the lawn was done and Sunday would be a continuation of Saturday’s fun? Okay, I can weed wack and get part of the job done. Nope, the gas can in the garage is not the 1:32 mix needed for the weedwacker - that’s at home, so is the oil.
I can try for that ‘Mom of the Year’ Award again...TJ wanted a 4-wheeler ride, let’s get the key! Go inside while TJ gets his shoes and socks on, grab the key and head to the garage. Turn key, nothing. The battery is dead.
“You can charge it.” TJ recommends.
“I could...if we had power.” I even gaze longingly at the separate circuit box in the garage. Maybe, just maybe, we have power to the garage? The separate box brings me hope. The man did the garage right - lights everywhere, outlets everywhere - just maybe the service is sooo separate it will work? I check the box - the main is in the on position. I go to the lightswitch - flick the switch, nothing...
Appropriately, TJ pulls out this Amish/Old-Timey ring and stick game. We play for awhile, but begin melting away in the 80 degree morning. TJ calls it quits before I do and we head inside where it is at least 10 degrees cooler and less humidity. We all take a break - coloring books for Mads, coloring books for TJ and my fully charged iPhone with Netflix on it!!! Mama ain’t no dummy. I charged it in the truck and I am planning to catch a couple episodes of “Pretty Little Liars” - season 2 started streaming today! Darn, I should have been watching that all night...oh, that charging idea didn’t come until after 7 am.
My cousin got me hooked on PLL through Netflix. So we watched season 1 and were waiting for season 2 to come to Netflix so we can whip through that and catch up on season 3 through abcfamily.com. Yes, my cousin is 13. Yes, I know it’s a terrible show. But I HAVE to know who ‘A’ is and who is the second ‘A’ is...it is mind consuming, plus my cousin googled it and I don’t want to know until I see!
I love the connection with my cousin even more than the show. I’ve gotten to know her better through Netflix. A weird statement, I know, so I’ll explain. She is a middle child and feels like it. She is quiet and sometimes withdrawn, making her seem difficult or unapproachable. When she writes, she expresses herself so differently. Texting and emailing is what she does, that’s how her friends know her and I tried the texting because her phone vibrates constantly with new texts. I knew she would get mine and she wrote back with more excitement I’ve ever seen of her in person. She is 13 and I won’t give her name...13 year olds need some privacy and I want to keep her texting with me.
I get 1/2 of an episode of PLL in before the coloring books have all their mazes done. My kids are mathematical thinkers - bored by the coloring, they do the mazes, word searches, etc., but haven’t really colored a page in any of the books packed. I give up the phone to have the kids share watching an episode of some craptactular show they like. Seriously, I have to limit their screen time, not just because it’s the right “mom” thing to do, but because I fear I will commit some terrible crime even after the sugary-sweet, positive-thinking theme song! Wow, twice in the first post I’ve lost the ‘Mom of the Year’ Award - perfect title.
Still on the outage day, I decide to repaint my toenails. I have all the stuff here because I do end up having so much more free time here. I pull out the color and see the directions on the bottle. Never noticed that before. It reads “shake gently. apply 2 coats. avoid heat & flame”. OMG, it’s 90 darn degrees! Is that “heat”? I’m not going over by the gas-powered generator, so I should be safe. Thanks again, Jeff, Jody and Gary for bringing up the generator - Jeff, your truck should be white because you were my knights in shining amour that day! Saved my sanity and the freezer full of food. Sanity is still in question, but you saved the food. Andy thanks you tons, too!
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